Friday, March 7, 2014

Be Assertive

Being assertive falls right in the middle of being passive and being aggressive. If you're passive, you'll never get to vocalize your needs; if you're aggressive, you'll look like a big bully and will likely be misdirecting your frustrations. But if you're assertive, you'll be able to express your desires while respecting the needs of others, and will have the best chance of getting what you want and deserve.


Rushing when you talk is an admission that you don’t expect people to take the time to listen. Speaking slowly, on the other hand, will indicate to people that you’re worth the wait. Use a clear, calm voice. You don't need to be loud, but you do need to make yourself heard.

    If people aren't noticing you, say "Excuse me" clearly and firmly. Don’t be apologetic when you haven’t done anything wrong; it will communicate to people that you feel slightly embarrassed just for existing.
    Try to be concise when you speak. Even the most confident person in the world will lose their audience if they don’t make their point soon enough.
    Keep your suggestion or point short and sweet -- long enough to say everything you need to say, but not so long that you feel like you're rambling or getting away from the main point.
    Avoid saying um or like as much as you can when you're trying to make a strong statement. Make a conscious effort to get these words out of your vocabulary.


Shallow though it may be, people make snap judgments based on your appearance. People who are naturally confident and charismatic can change others’ minds, but the rest of us aren’t so lucky. If you're wearing clothes that look like you've just got out of bed, or if you wear a pound of make-up with fluffy high-heels, the average person won't take you seriously. On the other hand, if you look like you're ready to get things done, people will tend to be more respectful.

    Dressing well doesn’t necessarily mean dressing up. If you’re the naturally casual sort, focus on having clean, matching, unwrinkled clothes with no embarrassing slogans or inappropriate images.
    Going to the supermarket in sandals, socks, basketball shorts, and a ripped turtleneck, on the other hand, is an invitation for ridicule, even if you think you look just fine.
    Making an effort to be serious about your appearance will make it look like you're more serious about your demands.